A few years back I was in a workshop and the word
‘spirituality” kept coming up. I
struggled with it – mostly because I had been fairly religious when I was in
high school and wasn’t anymore…and couldn’t seem to separate spirituality and
religion in my head. A friend said
to me… “I bet music is something spiritual to you.” I smiled, knowing he was right. A sense of calmness, wonderment and gratitude always sweep
over me when I’m at a DMB concert (or any show ,really)… and music, has always
been a part of my life, a huge part.
If music is my religion, where I find myself in a heightened
sense of spirituality, I met my Pastor nearly two years ago when I moved to
Austin. Ironically, it was over
another love that he and I first connected – college football. Ok, two loves… college football and an ice-cold
beer.
On a day that I was craving some Big 10-ness and midwesties in my life. I wore my Michigan shirt and headed to a Wisconsin bar, to meet a friend. Tricky move some might think. Surrounded by a sea of red and white and Buckie everywhere, I kept to myself as I watched a screen to the left of the game the masses were watching. A few people poked fun – but I knew if I could handle myself at a Buckeye bar… a Badger bar would be like a walk in the park. I met Jeff that day – Wisconsin Badger shirt and a newsboy hat. An incredible smile filled his face and genuine kindness exuded from his whole being. Cool guy I thought.
We met again at a Packers game-watch. I was a free-agent NFL fan, and the
Packer fans were happy to have me join.
That was the day that Jeff told me about his passion., Music. His blog. His dream.
I couldn’t be more thankful to get a chance to talk to him that day and
to share stories of shows and music.
I gave him my business card – and he gave me a brand-new, incredible play
list each and every month. I
looked forward to those emails, and to downloading the tracks, reading his
comments as each song started playing.
When it was festival time, I always looked to KidBock to tell
me what his schedule was… who was he going to see, where would he be. I looked up to him, admired his love
for music and loved the music he loved… but maybe I was too lazy to be on the
pulse of it like he was – that’s what he liked – and that’s what I liked about
him.
A few months back, a friend asked me what my passion was…
and after a few weeks of journaling and thinking it came to me. And as soon as that came to me,
suddenly I started seeing all of these people around me that I wanted to be a
part of it. Music is a huge part
of my life, as I said, so this dream I was cooking up would have to have
music. I thought… “I’ll have Jeff
make customized playlists…NO!!
I’ll have him DJ! Yes, that’s what I’ll do!!” I saw Jeff a week or so after I had this idea and with
excitement shared with him – his response, true to form, was matched excitement
– and a serious inquiry – “when is this going to happen?? Because I can’t wait to be a part of
it!”
Looking back at that moment makes me appreciate Jeff even more
– we weren’t best friends by any stretch.
We were two people with a lot in common. Two people who who were happy to support one another in
their dreams and passions. Looking
to that moment, I realize more that a friendship is more than time spent with
someone, it’s about the mark they leave on your soul and heart. Sometimes that mark takes years or
decades to build, sometimes it’s over the course of a few true, genuine
interactions.
I’m thankful for the last few interactions I had with Bock – he came out for my birthday celebration in March. We toasted to the night and our friendship with a couple of beers and a birthday shot. Last week, I found myself with an extra ticket to a concert and thought to invite Bock. He told me had a busy week but thanked me for thinking of him.
It’s been a tough week. A week of introspection. A week of gratitude, for what I have, who I call my friends,
and the experiences I’ve been afforded in my life. I have often thought, when people pass away so suddenly, is there
any inkling of an idea that today is your last day? It makes me think about the little things I worry about, the
things I put up with and the choices I make. If it were my last day today, how would I live? How would you? What would you do differently? Who would you forgive? Who would you tell that you loved them…
that they meant something to you, that they’ve left a mark on your life? Who or what would you let go of? And when it’s over, will your soul look
back and smile and be thankful for the life you had and how you chose to live
it?
I know that Bock is doing just that now. He made a mark with the life he lived
and the man he was .
Jeff Bock was an incredible man, such light, such
generosity, and so much fire for what and whom he loved. I’m going to miss his friendship, his
hugs and his laugh. I’m going to
miss his emails and play lists.
But at the end of the day, I’m glad he walked into my life and am
thankful for the mark he left on my heart! You left us far too soon, but I'm thankful to have had you in my life for the time that I did. KidBock, I’m graduating you to Pastor Bock… my Pastor of
Music!
