Eye Patches and Cupcake Vodka

It was exactly this time last year that I found myself in a really strange place…or “headspace” as my dear friend, Canada, calls it.  The holidays were around the corner, and I was feeling sad that I wasn’t going to be going home.  Which is strange in and of itself, because I moved away from Michigan in 2002… and rarely go back for the holidays.  But…no matter where I was, California or Texas, there always seemed to be some excitement around the holidays – either I was going somewhere or someone was coming to see me.  The year prior I had my mom in town for 10 short days just before Christmas, quickly followed by Jen and Katie being here for New Years.  That was just enough to make me comfortable with actually being “alone” during the holidays.  And I’ve never, thankfully, actually been alone on any holiday – I’ve always been fortunate to have friends to be with.  So… why was I all emotional this particular year?

No one was coming out to visit.  I wasn’t going anywhere.  Nor did I have plans to go anywhere.  I was stressed with my job situation.  I was single.  It was the perfect pre-holiday season storm to send my emotions into over-drive.

The night before Thanksgiving I babysat and on my way home, I called Lindsay…who had been out for a better part of the night and insisted that I come out for a couple of drinks…even if I was planning on running the Turkey Trot the next day.  I did.  And am so thankful that I did. 

That night, I met who would soon become one of my best friends in this city and one of my favorite people on this planet. 

We bantered about Turkey Trot.  And IF he were to run who would win.  He insisted that I take a shot of some awful cupcake vodka.  Not cool.  We stayed up late taking shoots of water (after one late night shot of Crown).  We ran the turkey trot that morning.  He beat me…but not by much.  Thanksgiving day we drank champagne and made Thanksgiving grilled cheese sandwiches.  And damnit, if you can’t be thankful for a grilled cheese, you’re crazy! 

My sad, sad holiday weekend turned into one of the most memorable…  And I found myself a lifelong friend. 

So Antonio, thank you for grilled cheese sandwiches, gypsy holidays, the Jew Ball, Christmas morning cowboy/Viking style, a newfound love of Brussels Sprouts,  borrowed pajamas, Sunday fundays, the stares, bringing a whole new meaning to watching the Austin Marathon, skinned knees, head injuries, black eyes and concussions.  Thank you for all things SXSW, I’m not sure I would have made it out the other side without you there.  Thank you for your love affair with my cat.  For late night text assults when I decide to stay in.  Thank you for still calling me… and calling me at random times of the day…for no particular reason.  Thank you for our runs…and letting me beat you.  Thank you for eye-patches, both times.  I appreciate your ease in being you, so that I could always be me.  

There is no one else I’d rather drink with at 8am …lose my ID in Houston with…see in a Viking helmet…give my cat to when I die… sustain a head injury with… or ask, you know that moment when you stop remembering, are you there?  I love you like some kind of fierce and am so thankful for your friendship and all of the silly shenanigans and crazy tomfoolery we’ve partaken in over the course of the last 365 days!

Turkey Trotting 2011

Lesson learned… you are allowed to be sad… but you have the power to change your perception of the situation, and sometimes that perception change just takes a crazy kid from Missouri and a little cupcake vodka. 

ACL weekend - 2012

Friends Christmas - 2011

How I woke up Christmas morning - 2011

SXSW / St. Paddy's Day / The Day I turned a foam finger into a koozie

Dave Matthews - Woodlands 2012

Friends with who like M's

ACL 2012 - Thank you for also for Hallie.  And Jeff.  I likes them too!  :)

  

Happy friend-a-versary, Antonio! Forever A-Team, Alpha Alpha!  Cheers to new adventures!

Lessons Learned

As I get ready to celebrate the two month anniversary of Big Whiskey being in my life I started to realize how much she’s taught me in 8 short weeks.  Here are few…

• If you ask, it shall be given.  It might not look like how you thought it might and it probably won’t happen in the timing that you’d planned…which brings me to…
• Being open to the possibilities – like really open - Be open to expecting the unexpected. 
• Love doesn’t happen by some set rules.  How it happens for you, or you, or you is probably not how it’ll happen for me.  I learned this early in the year when I fell in love with a Dutch man and I relearned it again with Whiskey.  They say, that life will keep giving you the same lessons until you learn them.  I think I got this one.
•  Shoes are things.  Bras are things.  Things don’t really matter to me.  If they matter enough they can be replaced.  Life can’t.  I chose to spend my life, money and time on those and that which I love. 
• Nothing breaks your heart more than not knowing how to help someone you love – When Whiskey ran off that day, I literally felt defeated.  She was alone and scared.  And probably in danger and there was NOTHING I could do about it. 
• Sometimes you just gotta say, “eff it!” and go play and shake and play with friends and smell asses and lick faces.  Ooooh… wait. 
• Acts of love come in the form of smiles and kisses (all over your face), as well as, in the form of waking up five times in the night to clean up vomit and diarrhea. 
• Pure happiness is found outside in the sunshine with breeze blowing across your face. Pure happiness is always found in the first face you see in the morning too.
• Everything is more enjoyable with a friend - car rides, running the trail... all things I didn't mind doing alone, but like a hell of lot more when I'm not alone!
• Always smile and say hello to strangers.  It brightens their day, and they might just need a little brightening.
• Believe that timing is everything.  Things happen not on my timeline, but that of the universes.  I always believed that I’d have a dog someday.  But “someday” had a lot of conditions on it.  Someday when I’m older.  Someday when I don’t travel as much.  Someday when I’m settled into a routine.  Someday when I don’t work as much.  Someday when I have my own place.  Someday when I have a yard.  None of these conditions mattered when she crossed my path.  This makes all of those other goals and dreams floating around in my head to be a little more soft around the edges, a little less constrained.  A little more possible.  No.  A lot more possible.

So thanks, BW!

Ps… she’s with her trainer right now, the house is so lonely without her.  Hard to believe she’s a fairly new addition.   

+52 Shows. New Appreciation. Mind Blown.

Music it is my religion.  And passion.  I was thinking a few weeks back if the guitar or the airplane had never been invented, I’d have a hell of a lot more money saved up… but my life wouldn’t be nearly as rich.  

My taste in music is pretty diverse.  In the last year, I’ve seen Little Wayne to Willie Nelson, Asher Roth to Bon Iver, Run DMC to Ben Howard and Dave Matthews to Drake. 

Back in September we went out to Philly for the Made in America Festival – JayZ was all I really cared about seeing. Because of a Block M... on a Maize hat... I met a guy whose love for Pearl Jam was as deep (maybe deeper) than my love for DMB.  He flew to Philly ONLY to see Pearl Jam.  I can appreciate that sort of intense love for a band because I can totally relate.  But no, he takes it to a whole, WHOLE new level.  Proclaiming, “It’s Pearl Jam Day!!” and going to the Pearl Jam fan meet up before the festival.  Dude really, REALLY loves him some Pearl Jam.  Now I’d seen Pearl Jam once before – at The Staples Center.  I was underwhelmed at best.  The sound was awful.  But I thought… hey, for someone to travel like this guy had… maybe I missed something. 

The second night of MIA, or as Owen called it, “Pearl Jam Day”… we met up with he and his crew.  Seeing him and his friends… grown men with real, respectable careers and stellar educations dancing around with their shirts on their heads brought a whole new appreciation to Pearl Jam.  Eddie Vedder has an amazing voice, and is damn sexy.  And oh wait, he’s playing guitar as JayZ sings 99 Problems?! 

Ok.  I’m a fan. 

Because that dancing, shirtless man told me I had to go… I drove an hour to get tickets to see Eddie Vedder play in Austin. My mind was blown away last night.  Like completely.  I’d venture to guess I’ve seen more than a few hundred artists perform – but last night was very quickly thrown into my top 3 shows of my life.  Everything was perfect.  The sound.  His voice.  The acoustics.  The commentary. The day.  The typewritter.  The letter.  The company.  

So thank you, Owen.  I wish you could have been there.  It was pretty magical…and maybe a little life-changing. 

"Feel the sky blanket you with gems and rhinestones..."

---------

And because I’m crazy and wanted to figure out how many shows I’d actually been to this year… I tried to count them up.  It gets tricky around festival times and SXSW because I feel like we stumble upon some great acts that I forget we even saw.  Case in point (or point in case if you’re my friend Tots!) my text to Bevil this morning:  “Other than Big Krit and Little Wayne, who else did we see during SX?”  So here’s my best guess at who I’ve seen in 2012.  Cra to the zee!

Little Wayne - Busta Rhymes - Big Krit - Quiet Company - Fun. - Sarah Jaffe - Shiny Toy Guns - Tyga - Asher Roth - Fab-olous - Ben Kweller - Wild Child - Marcia Ball - Bon Ivar - Rodrigo Y Gabriela - Dave Matthews Band - Ghostland Observatory x2 - The Temper Trap - The Head and the Heart - Ziggy Marley - Lance Herbstrong -Aleso - Calvin Harris - D’Angelo - Drake - Maybach Music  - Jay-Z - Pearl Jam - Run DMC - Skrillex - Jill Scott - Willie Nelson - Erikha Badhu - First Aid Kit - Delta Spirit - Ben Howard- Teegan and Sarah - A-Trak - Weezer - Florance and the Machine - Bassnectar - Big Gigantic - Polica x 2 - Two Door Cinema Club - Avicii - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Neil Young - Lera Lynn - Gary Clark Jr. x2- Iggy and the Stooges- Passion Pit - Eddie Vedder

And much love to the friends who've been there along the way... Kelly, Lindsay, Jen, Anthony, Hallie, Chad, Owen, Sarah, Chase, Amanda, Meredith, Chelsie and Stacy!

Cheers to South Africa!

I heard this again on the radio again tonight and remembered this band (Civil Twilight) is from Cape Town, South Africa.  Then I remembered that some of my favorite people on this planet are ALSO from Cape Town - coincidence?  Never!!  This one is for your T.J., Nelson and Angie... and Kirstin, Dustin and Chase... because we're honorary South Africans, yo!  ;-)  I cannot wait to see you, Ang!!  And am still scheming a way to get my butt back to the Bay to see the rest of you fools!    Love, love, love y'all!!

When Someone Else Sings...

When I was a little girl, I remember sitting in the backseat of the car... looking out the back window.  I know, I know... why didn't I have a seatbelt on?  Well, it was before we were required to wear them... which seems just silly.  Anyway... I was sitting there, looking out the back and I remember my mom turning up the radio (or was it an 8-track) and exclaimed... "It's my honey!!"

I remember either thinking or saying aloud... "If he's your honey, how come he never comes to visit me?"

I've never met my biological father, still, to this day.  But even as a 3 or 4 year old, I somehow equated "honey" with "someone you love" and equated that to "someone you have a child with."Smart girl I was.

Well, that man singing was Willie Nelson.  And for a brief moment in time I thought he was my father. Willie singing was part of the soundtrack of my childhood.  I'm grateful that I've heard him play live.

In other news... I've been on a bit of a random Pearl Jam kick since Philly.  A newfound appreciation since my high school and college days.  I heard this on the radio the other day and smiled.  I love when older artists do covers from rock bands, it makes me smile when music worlds collide.  I've posted this song before, but seeing Willie and his son Lukus sing it as a duet literally brought a whole new meaning to the words Eddie has sung and brought tears to my eyes.  Check it out - I promise it'll make you cry and immediately want to call your parents...   Good stuff right there.  This is what happens when you can appreciate the lyrics and the music.  <3 p="p">

Amanda and I at Willie Nelson this summer

Kill Your Heros

It's a crazy break from their first big hit, Sail... but I love this new track by AWOLNation.

Well, I met an old man
Dying on a train.
No more destination,
No more pain.
Well, he said
"One thing before I graduate
Never let your fear decide your fate."

Gratitude

After seeing a few of my friends posting something they're thankful or grateful for each of the days of this month so far... I've felt compelled to join in the fun.

While this exercise isn't something new to me...I actually think of five things I'm thankful for before I go to sleep at night...or in those rare moments when I'm feeling defeated, broken or just sad.

So with that ...

November 1:  I'm thankful for hotels that allow dogs.  I had to be away for a trade show over the weekend, I was happy that I didn't have to leave Whiskey behind.

November 2:  I'm thankful for my neighbors.  Such open, happy, caring spirits all living around the same old, oak tree.

November 3:  I'm thankful for sweet Sophie and being a part of her life and celebrating her first birthday and her first steps.  I'm thankful for the friendships I share with her amazing parents.











November 4:  I'm thankful for falling back, and having an extra hour to sleep.

November 5:  I'm thankful for putting myself first this morning, and spending some much needed time alone, in my running shoes on the trail.  My feet hitting the ground seems to hit the reset button in my mind.  Everything is good again.  This week is about to be amazing!

November 6:  I'm thankful that I live in a country where my voice matters.  I'm thankful for early voting.  And I'm thankful to care about the issues so much that I felt compelled to easily chose one over the other.  I dream of a day where marriage can be marriage, and not be subclassified as gay or straight marriage.  I dream of a day where women can choose what's right for themselves and their bodies, without having religion or government have a say in it.  I dream of a day where the amount of money you have or don't have affects the care of treatment you're given when you're sick.  You guessed it kids, my vote went to our Commander in Chief, Mr. Obama!

November 7:  I'm thankful that my rights as a woman will be protected for the next four years!

November 8:  I'm thankful for taking time for myself.  I spent the morning focusing on me, and my health and happiness.  It's strange how good it feels to wake up feeling rested, work out, cook breakfast, take a shower, iron my clothes and curl my hair before I leave the house.  Truly the small things... that and lunch with Kelly.  Always a bright moment in my day when I get to see his face... even it it's got a mustache on it right now.

November 9:  I'm thankful for margaritas at lunch with Stacy.  And I'm thankful for Kelly, Hallie, Anthony, Sarah, Seth, Gerald and Tolga... faces I hadn't seen in forever.

November 10:  I'm thankful for pizza and catching up with Sarah... and being asleep by 1030 on a Saturday!

November 11:  I'm thankful for Eddie Vedder.  And Owen.  And Aaron.  And spending the morning playing with my pup!