In the last couple of weeks there have been a couple blog
posts that have went viral on the interwebs – they struck a chord in me,
because the words resonated at the core of who I am. I related to the subject of their writings - she could have
been me. (As a point of reference,
in case you want to read those blogs…the first was: “Don’t
Date a Girl who Travels.” The
second, which I think was meant to be response first, but in my opinion is nearly
the same, with a positive spin on this girl, titled: “Do
Date a Girl who Travels.”) While
both of these caused me to reflect, I’ve now begun recognize and accept that I
was very much the girl they were describing in their posts and there isn’t
anything wrong with that.
A few months ago marked the end of what has been a valley in
my life. I ended my time at a job
that sucked the life, the passion and the happiness from me – that injected a
world of anxiety, sleepless nights, medicated days and negativity. I allowed myself to lose sight of who I
am. Someone else’s dreams shadowed
my own. I did what was “right”
instead of what I wanted. Then a
suit came in, decided I needed to be out and gave me the greatest gift of 2013,
my freedom.
I think a lot of people in my life were taken aback by my
decision to leave Austin and move to Phoenix – I’ve loved Austin. I love its culture, food, people, the
trees, the trails, its eclectic-ness and weirdness. I think those who’ve
thought of me when they read either of the two blogs I mentioned, weren’t
surprised by my decision at all. I
think they saw something long before I did – they saw me stagnant and stifled.
Phoenix has been home for nearly two months; I meet new
people nearly every day. And every
time they ask me, “what brought you to Phoenix?” or “Did you move here for a
job?” Generally they’re confused
when my reply is simply, “there’s really no good reason, other than, it was a
good time to for a change.” It
still feels weird to say, because there isn’t a whole lot of logic to it. But I’ve come to realize that not
everything needs to make sense to those around you - it needs to make sense to
you. And sometimes you just have
to trust that your heart is leading you in the direction you’re meant to go…and
often means you need to quiet the voice of your head, the logical one.
There’s really no good reason why I’m here, other than it
was a good time for a change AND I’m happy here. I feel like a new life has been inhaled. A life that accepts and cherishes the
adventurer, wander, explorer and gypsy within me. There is a content-ness in my soul as I walk down the path
less traveled and take risks and meet new people. I’ve realized that in the
past when I’ve been unhappy it’s because I have stifled this part of me. I’ve told myself (because others have
told me) that I should be making X amount… or… I should own a house… or I should
be setting down roots…or be married and by now, I definitely SHOULD have
kids.
I’m happy because I finally stopped believing any of
that. I’m happy to embrace the
uncertainty of the adventure and the possibilities in the path ahead of me. I’m happy that my roots aren’t confined
to one zip code, but are allowed to span the entire earth.
I’m content knowing that there’s nothing wrong with being a
wanderer or an explorer – it’s when you believe THERE IS something wrong with
it that you lose sight of who you are meant to be. I’m content knowing that
wherever I am, is exactly where I should be.*
“So never date a girl who travels unless you can keep up
with her. And if you unintentionally fall in love with one, don’t you dare keep
her. Let her go.” - @adizarsadias
Thank you to those of you who’ve let me go and accepted
who I am. Your friendship, love
and kindred spirits have inspired and supported me through this transition and
the ones before.
*I’m also happy that where I was, was not a part of the
“Polar Vortex” – because y’all looked really cold with all of that ice, snow
and arctic level wind chills.
