Like a day hasn't passed...

It’s funny how the Universe perfectly brings people into your life, just when you need them.  Maybe you’ve known them forever and lost touch.  Maybe they’re with you in the day-to-day.  Or maybe you don’t even know them, and they walk in and change you and the course of your life, who knows, maybe Devin is one of those people. 

A few entries back, I talked about how sometimes we need to distance ourselves from others and other outside influences before we can truly quiet our worlds long enough to hear the whispering in our hearts.  In the past, I’ve seen people in my world do this.  No explanation, just gone.  Of course, the mind left without details, is going to make up a story – and usually that story is because you’ve done something wrong, they’re mad at you, they hate you, etc.  It’s never because they just needed space and didn’t quite know how to articulate that – everything with the mind is cause and effect.  This happened – this is the result.  If you’re a part of the “this” – the result is part on you. 

Anyway, as I began withdrawing to a place that was quiet enough – I suddenly realized why this needs to happen.  I reached out to a few who I’ve seen do this – and I told them, while maybe I didn’t get it before, and I probably wasn’t respectful – I got it now.  It was in doing so I got reacquainted with a few people in my life. 

One of these folks went out of their way to help me – help me find answers, clarity and focus.  They gave me a piece of information missing from the puzzle and I was rocked.  Literally, I sat there, not knowing what to think or feel.  This is not to say, before this meeting that I knew what I should be thinking or feelings. 

With my world rocked – I did what any sane person would do.  I called someone whom I haven’t spoke to in years.  He’s an old friend – who had a similar story.  Well, it was his wife that actually “felt the energy” come into a room (which coincidentally, I happened to be standing in at the time) – and it was he, that was the energy.  He was Devin in this story.  Well, as their story goes, my friend had some, we’ll call it “unsettled business” to take care of – though there was no doubting that he had an instant and powerful attraction and connection with this woman.  They knew that there was something between the two of them – but the timing wasn’t right.  It took nine months for them to reconnect.

I reached out to understand why.  Where was he in those nine months, what was he thinking, feeling, doing and being?  Where was she in all of it? 

He listened – he’s always been an impeccable listener.  And he offered more details on his story.  He asked me some really real questions – what if he had a girlfriend, would I be ok if I were the “mistress”.  Without a doubt, “that doesn’t bother me.” 

“What is it you know for sure?” – I know with every cell in my being that this is not over. 

“Then don’t let it be over.”

Easy as that, eh? 

He suggested I keep the positivity around the feelings, around the encounter.  If it doesn’t feel over, than it’s not.  He suggested that because I couldn’t talk to him, maybe write letters to him. 

I felt so much love and support and understanding when I hung up the phone with that old friend.  I appreciated his friendship in that moment, and I appreciated that it could be resurrected after so many years – and feel like nothing had changed. 

He told me he appreciated me, and this story – and he was so excited that I’d gotten to feel these things and he’d continue to put positivity around the situation.

That night, I wrote my Dutch Lover a three-page typed letter.  I told him the things I thought in that evening, the morning after and the days following.  I told him about my days since I last spoke to him.  If I was struggling with something, or if there was something I was excited about – I told him.  I asked for his advice.  His support.  I told him I looked forward to the next time we spoke and could be together.  I didn’t hold back.  I felt so light – it was such a freeing release. 

That night as I drifted off to sleep, I thanked the world for him.  And I asked that wherever he’s at, whatever he’s doing, I hope that he could feel me thinking about him and sending me love from Austin, Texas.  I hoped that he smiled when he thought of me – and was sending the same right back.  That was the first night I slept like a normal person.