Listening

I think it's perfect that two days before I met Devin, I did this exercise with my life coach where I had to tune into the chambers of my heart.  In that exercise - with my eyes closed, I was just feeling my thoughts and the energy in and around my body.  Willow saw a dramatic shift in me physically.  When I told her about what happened on January 28th, she joyously exclaimed, "I'm so proud of you for *hearing* your heart, so your soul could meet his."  

I know I've been rather quiet lately... which is not like like me.  Usually when I have problems or something is weighing on me, my instinct is to talk it out.  To get others insight.  This is the first time in my life that I haven't... and have actually told some people whom I care about and whom I know care about me that I'm not looking for sympathy or hypothesis' or creative solutions.  I just want to be and to feel. 

(That's not to say, them checking in on me isn't appreciated and noticed.  Because it certainly is!)

In the last few days, I am realizing that as we grow up, as we encounter new obstacles or events on our journey... we may not handle things we may have in the past.  Others may not understand.  They might be hurt by our silence.  We may turn to others who haven't been there in the past - and may turn away from those who have.  It's not to hurt feelings - but it's to hear our hearts, to heal our hearts and to grow.

I've been wanting to write in the last few days - but my heart has been telling me to hear and to listen.  And when we hear, when we are truly listening - we're not speaking.  There's a lot going on in my head and my heart - and I've liked watching it unfold in the last few days.