Thens and Whens

Last night as I laid in bed struggling to fall asleep – I started to think of all of the people I’m thankful for. 

Sidebar:  You can file this under the random things I do, but any time I have trouble falling asleep, or feel like I’m struck in a rut, I will always start to count my blessing.  I’ll make lists of things and people I’m thankful for.  I’ll start rattling them off out loud for no one but myself and Stella to hear.  I’ll write notes to friends.  Being thankful seems to turn my attitude around, centers me and calms me. 

As I lay there thinking about the incredible weekend I just had – I started thinking about all of the people who’ve come into my life.  Many have stayed.  Some have been around for a moment and left.  Some have been around for awhile, and we’ve parted ways.  But as I thought about each of those people who came and went – they’ve had just as a profound impact on shaping the person I am today. 

Each random person who I’ve met and connected with – and let’s face it, this category is probably the largest as I seem to connect easily with most people – has taught me something about myself, others or the world I live in.  Each random boy in a bar and friendly cab driver – each friend-of-a-friend, friend, boyfriend, crush and each drinking buddy.  Every one of those people is a part of my story. 

As I continued down this memory lane I started to be grateful for all of the times I was disappointed, hurt, confused and let-down.  I was grateful for each time I felt lost and unsure.  Each of these times brought me closer to where I am today. 

Sure, I think things can change in my life – and they probably will again and again.

But the one thing I know for certain in this world – right here is where I’m supposed to be. 

And I’m grateful for this moment – these people here with me now – and those who have been a part of my journey and self-discovery.  I’m grateful for all of the opportunities I’ve had, and the courage I have to step outside of my comfort zone to create those opportunies – because things don’t just happen, we allow them to happen.  I’m thankful for the experiences and all of the moments.  I don’t have to understand any of it – I just have to trust that it’s all part of a plan.  And it’s all pushing me to where I’ll end up and who I’ll continue to grow to be. 

I’m thankful for the thens and I’m thankful for the whens.

And... because I'm still on a music high... I think this song is an appropriate little diddy for how I'm feeling.