I’m getting things crossed off my list today. Well, my list of things I’ve been meaning to write about anyway…
If you follow my Facebook updates, you’ll remember last week when I was talking about how a book changed my life.
The book that totally changed my life: The Five Love Languages
Randomly this book had been recommended to me by not one, but two guys. Chad, my old roommate had read it with his girlfriend, Christina – they told me how it changed their relationship – and thought that maybe it would be helpful to me. I didn’t think much of it, because from their description it sounded like it was something for couples. And last I checked, yup…I’m not happily coupled up.
Fast forward a month or so. I made the bold move of asking Whip, my “match” friend to join me for the Dave Matthews Band show at the Greek. Bold because, I had already sorta written him – ah, but a classic Anna move – forgive, forget, and move forward. Our conversations on the journey to LA in rush hour traffic lead us to relationships and friendships. I was fresh off my lay-off and was feeling emotional about still not understanding the difference between “friends” and “friendly”. It was shortly after we corked a bottle of Chianti straight from Tuscany, that Whip asked if I ever read the book, “The Five Love Languages.” Random. Another guy, telling me about this book. I made a mental note to find it, and check it out.
I finally got around to doing that last week Thursday. I picked the book up off my nightstand that night at 10pm. I finished the book at about 2pm on Friday. My head was swirling. Thoughts of every relationship and friendship swirled through my head. From my parents, to my best friends, to friends who I thought were best friends, ex-boyfriends, roommates, work colleagues, men I’ve dated, all the way to the people I meet at airport bars. Suddenly every single relationship – success or failure – made PERFECT sense to me. PERFECT SENSE.
Without reciting the whole book – let me say that everyone has a primary love language, they “speak” this language to the people in their lives. This is how they give and receive love without really having to think much about it. The assessment at the end of the book only reaffirmed what I knew a chapter or two into the book. My love language is Quality Time. Shocking right? Nah, not really. Everyone jokes about how I meet people every where and how for some inexplicable reason, I’m able to keep in touch with them. Well, it’s in that Quality Time that I’ve perceived some connection, some level of love.
It’s also in that Quality Time that I oftentimes perceive a love or connection that the other person doesn’t…a little QT simply isn’t their love language. And THAT is how I’ve always confused “friends” and “friendly.”
So the book is phenomal, and totally enlightening. I think everyone should read it. All of humanity. Once we understand how we love, and how others love – we’ll just be happier. I promise. I am.
Yes, I’m evaluating all of you to understand what your love language is…and I’m going to do my best at learning to “speak” that language. If Whip wouldn’t have suggested the book…I probably would have forgotten Chad and Christina’s suggestion. I emailed him to thank him, to let him know I appreciated his active listening. I’m not sure of why the world puts certain people in our lives – but if that is the only reason Whip is in my world today, I’m happy with it and thankful for it.
If you follow my Facebook updates, you’ll remember last week when I was talking about how a book changed my life.
The book that totally changed my life: The Five Love Languages
Randomly this book had been recommended to me by not one, but two guys. Chad, my old roommate had read it with his girlfriend, Christina – they told me how it changed their relationship – and thought that maybe it would be helpful to me. I didn’t think much of it, because from their description it sounded like it was something for couples. And last I checked, yup…I’m not happily coupled up.
Fast forward a month or so. I made the bold move of asking Whip, my “match” friend to join me for the Dave Matthews Band show at the Greek. Bold because, I had already sorta written him – ah, but a classic Anna move – forgive, forget, and move forward. Our conversations on the journey to LA in rush hour traffic lead us to relationships and friendships. I was fresh off my lay-off and was feeling emotional about still not understanding the difference between “friends” and “friendly”. It was shortly after we corked a bottle of Chianti straight from Tuscany, that Whip asked if I ever read the book, “The Five Love Languages.” Random. Another guy, telling me about this book. I made a mental note to find it, and check it out.
I finally got around to doing that last week Thursday. I picked the book up off my nightstand that night at 10pm. I finished the book at about 2pm on Friday. My head was swirling. Thoughts of every relationship and friendship swirled through my head. From my parents, to my best friends, to friends who I thought were best friends, ex-boyfriends, roommates, work colleagues, men I’ve dated, all the way to the people I meet at airport bars. Suddenly every single relationship – success or failure – made PERFECT sense to me. PERFECT SENSE.
Without reciting the whole book – let me say that everyone has a primary love language, they “speak” this language to the people in their lives. This is how they give and receive love without really having to think much about it. The assessment at the end of the book only reaffirmed what I knew a chapter or two into the book. My love language is Quality Time. Shocking right? Nah, not really. Everyone jokes about how I meet people every where and how for some inexplicable reason, I’m able to keep in touch with them. Well, it’s in that Quality Time that I’ve perceived some connection, some level of love.
It’s also in that Quality Time that I oftentimes perceive a love or connection that the other person doesn’t…a little QT simply isn’t their love language. And THAT is how I’ve always confused “friends” and “friendly.”
So the book is phenomal, and totally enlightening. I think everyone should read it. All of humanity. Once we understand how we love, and how others love – we’ll just be happier. I promise. I am.
Yes, I’m evaluating all of you to understand what your love language is…and I’m going to do my best at learning to “speak” that language. If Whip wouldn’t have suggested the book…I probably would have forgotten Chad and Christina’s suggestion. I emailed him to thank him, to let him know I appreciated his active listening. I’m not sure of why the world puts certain people in our lives – but if that is the only reason Whip is in my world today, I’m happy with it and thankful for it.
I feel the SAME WAY about the Love Languages! It's so universally applicable, regardless of relational status. Mine is Acts of Service, with a dash of Words of Affirmation for good measure. :)
ReplyDeleteI may be dashing Acts of Service...but am TERRIBLE at Words of Affirmation. Thanks Mom for that one! ;-) Did you notice that I emailed Whip to THANK him and let him know I APPRECIATED him? I'm pretty sure his is Words of Affirmation!! ;-)
ReplyDelete