Don't stop.

I tried to treat Wednesday as normally as I could.  I had an interview in the morning and then met up with the production team I’m working with for the Google SXSW event.  My mind was pre-occupied most of the day with the days happenings.  Which was good.  I enjoyed meeting the team, learning about what we’d be doing for the event and understand what they do on a day-to-day basis.  Seems like a cool industry…and something worth exploring.

We got back to the hotel around 3 and I was asked to make a quick run to Office Depot to get some supplies for things that they’d need for the meeting with Google in the morning.  I went.

In the car ride there, I realized that it was mid-day and I hadn’t heard from Devin.  Sadness washed over me.  I replied to Misa’s text with… “I just stopped long enough to realize I’m sad. “

My cousin called me right as I left Office Depot… asked how I was doing and I lost it. 

While the logical person in me understands that everything happens for a reason, and that him walking into the wrong bar forever changed my perspective – I didn’t understand why he had to leave… why he had put so much energy into telling me that he wanted to be with me, that he missed me and couldn’t wait to see me again… if he was going to get on a plane and leave without saying goodbye.  I was heartbroken. 

I’m thankful that Jessica called me when she did – I needed someone I love and who loves me to let me cry it out.  I knew she wouldn’t judge.  I knew she wouldn’t think I was crazy to love him.  And I knew her heart hurt, knowing that my heart was hurting.  While we agreed that neither of us understood why – we knew that it wasn’t by chance or accident that he walked into my life.