Refresher Course

Are you willing to give without being asked?  Are you willing to help without knowing your efforts would be acknowledged, much less appreciated?  Are you willing to go above the call of duty, without regard to what you may gain?  Are you willing to listen and not speak?  Are you willing to reach out, offer a hand, ear, shoulder or simply your time and friendship, if for nothing else because they’ve offered the same to you, and you took gladly took it when you needed it. 

Roles will always reverse.  If you’re the person who gives freely and happily, you’ll eventually find yourself in a space where you need to receive; receive the love, care and gifts of others.  Conversely, if you’re in the habit of taking or receiving the gifts of others, your character and friendship is defined when it’s your turn to give.  Are you as quick to give, as you are to receive?

Major life changes have a funny way of sifting the fluff, the unnecessary and unfulfilling out of your life.  You gain perspective – both on who you are in this world and whom those you’ve chosen to surround yourself with.  Everyone was placed in your world for a reason – it’s either you are teaching, or you are learning.  In a perfect friendship, you’re equal parts both teacher and student.  It’s those friendships that need to be celebrated.

I’ve been lucky enough to have a few of these major life changes – and I’m thankful I’ve taken what many would perceive as something negative, sad and scary and saw the good, the opportunity and the many silver linings.  I patiently waited for the lessons to come and relished in the opportunity to take my turn as the one who needed the hands, ears, shoulders, time and friendship of those who I’ve given to in the past. 

I drove through Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, California and back to realize what I’ve learned before – I am loved.  I have developed amazing friendships with some of the most incredible people.  I guess some lessons are worth a refresher course here and there. 

In the spirit of celebrating and honoring those friendships, the way they deserve -I decided earlier in the week to cancel my going away party.  In my remaining days as an Austin resident, I am choosing to spend my time with those who have freely given to me their time, love, support, encouragement and friendship - when I needed it most.   It is those types of friendships who inspire me most and give me comfort as I embark into the unknown.  Some have been there since I got to Austin, others have been there for a few months – time, like distance doesn’t matter with these types of friends.  It’s those friendships I’ll hold tightly as I head west on Interstate 10 – because they have my back, and I know without a shadow of a doubt, each of them knows I have theirs too – yesterday, today and tomorrow. 

“Not all those who wander are lost”

In the past, great change has often been preceded by great sadness or great opportunities.  I’ve either followed my heart or my dreams.  All of those changes, almost always, involved a move – a restart – a change of zip code. 

This time seemed different.  While there has been great change in my life as of late – it’s been welcomed change.  Change that was needed to get my happy back.  Back in July, I spent some time back in Michigan and in Chicago – the trip was medicinal and therapeutic in the most simple and organic of ways.  I spent time outside and on the lake.  I put my toes in the sand and stared up at the stars.  I was able to surround myself with a few of those people who I admire, adore and cherish – those who are love me for me.  I made a vow to myself on that trip that things would change when I got back to Austin.  That I’d recalibrate and begin living for me again – which meant going after that which inspires, excites, scares and motivates me. 

I got home from that trip and was on fire.  Then, I was essentially fired. 

All of this brought up a ton within me.  I was hurt, betrayed, confused and relieved.  But deep down, I knew that this was happening for a reason.  Something better was out there for me.  Something I wouldn’t  or couldn’t see before. 

I decided that more than anything I needed to be surrounded by those who love me for me – silly, random, strong-willed, out-spoken, empathetic, outgoing and loving me.   My heart felt lost and I knew where I’d find it – and find me.  So the pup and I embarked on an adventure to California and places in between. 

Being in the car that long alone stirs up a lot.  Being with that many friends who love you, whose hugs you can actually feel when you close your eyes – brought about calmness. 

I thought I knew what I was going to do… then I headed back to Austin. 

I can’t explain the draw – but there is something in me that is telling me to go back west.  I don’t know if I belong in California again.  And if I do if it’s LA, Orange County, San Diego or the Bay Area.  Maybe it’s Seattle or Portland.  Or maybe I just need to be away from Austin.  I’m not entirely sure – but after spending a few weeks listening to the battling of my head and my heart – I decided I’m ready to embrace it.  And head west...to Scottsdale.  

I’m still going after that which inspires, excites, scares and motivates me.  And I’m excited to be working on something super exciting with some friends.  This time I’m following my heart, my dreams and my instincts.  My change in zip code may be temporary, it might change a few times still and it might become permanent – I’m finding peace with any of these outcomes.  I’m an adventurer with an amazing group of people scattered around who I love and who love me – with every stop I learn more.  More about myself, my goals and dreams and my place in this world. 

 “Not all those who wander are lost” – J.R.R. Tolkein

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Now... someone plan me a going away party!!