Admittedly, this is the third entry I’m writing in one day – but like I said below, I’ve been busy, and there have been a few things hanging out in the depths of my mind that I thought prudent to acknowledge and release.
Last week the investigator was assigned to my case – that is, assigned to find my biological father. I ignored the incoming call from a “734” area code…who’d be calling me from Ann Arbor? When I finally listening to the message, I was hesitant to call Jennifer back. I’m not sure why. Actually, yes I am. It’s a scary, overwhelming thing. I mean, calling her back means she’s going to be actively searching for this man, right?! Thankfully, Jennifer has probably dealt with a lot of Anna’s…and called me back later in the day.
We talked for about an hour – going over all of the things I said to the first person that took my call. But this time it seemed more real, more relevant. After all, I was speaking to the woman who will probably find my dad. She asked me questions like, “what is your intent in finding your dad?” and “what is your best possible outcome for this?” and “would you be open to meeting him if it can be arranged?” and “have you thought about the possibility of having half-siblings?” Overwhelming right??
She also wanted clarification on a few items…middle name, date of birth, if there was a connection with the State of California…other important things like that. After I ended the call with Jennifer I called my mom and my aunt – they were my only two sources of information and the only way I could really help Jennifer do her job.
While my mom’s memory has never put her in competition for “most information contained”… I knew she’d know some things. It’s hard for her, I recognize that – to be asked to recount a relationship with a man whom you both love and loathe simultaneously. Most of what she recollected were things I’d heard in past conversations. I called my Aunt after telling my mom that I love her.
Me: “So Aunt Lori, do you remember if he had any siblings?”
Aunt Lori: “Yes, an older brother, Michael, who lived in California. Your dad used your mom’s phone once to call him.”
Me: “A brother in California, huh?” (mental note to call Jennifer right after this call)
With the eagerness of a kid waiting for Santa to visit, I called Jennifer up. It was 10pm in Michigan. I didn’t care. She answered and was so glad that I called. The information about the brother in California could be useful, as she’s found a birth certificate and a social security number issued to a man with my dad’s name in the State of California.
Jennifer seems like the perfect person to be assigned to work with me. She’s empathetic and understands that this will undoubtedly be an emotional rollercoaster for me. She’s assured me, we do all of this on my time, when I’m ready. And she’s here through the entire process. I have a lot to think about, and process while the search is on – but I’m committed to playing out how this may shake out, so that I can be prepared when the time does come. And yes, I’m convinced it will come. I need to make sure I’m emotionally ready for this ride, beginning to end.
With that…I’m asking you, my friends to actually reach out, and check in with me on this – It’s easy for me to focus on other things that are happier and less stressful, but I know that this is something I truly do want and I’m ready for the rollercoaster!
No comments:
Post a Comment