Words...

Have you ever said something and wish you could take it back? Like immediately? Worse yet, have you said something, forgotten it ever slide past your lips – only to find out days or weeks later that your words hurt someone close to you. Your words made someone question the type of friend you were…. Made them question if you were really a friend at all?

I’m sure we’ve all been there. But for some reason, it doesn’t make this feel any better. While I know my words weren’t intended to be received in the manner they in which they were, I can’t help but feel guilty for not taking better care in how they were delivered. For starters, they probably shouldn’t have been delivered on a holiday weekend, after countless beers had been consumed. I can’t help but to feel sadness that someone I care about was hurt by them . Sure I have no control over what someone does with the information they receive – but I have to wonder if my actions were questionable enough prior to this incident that made addressing that much more difficult.

I just don’t know.

I do know since that conversation has occurred, it’s hung so heavy on my heart – and I can’t help but wonder if it’s left a mark on that friendship. Certainly, I hope it was a merely a “blip on the radar” – two friends, learning how to learning to speak up and teach the other what friendship looks like for them. Two friends getting past the surface friendship, and growing into a more meaningful, real, solid, sometimes raw and uncomfortable but totally worth the effort – friendship.

I hope so.